Going Veggie

Alright guys, so here it is: I'm going vegetarian (or possibly flexiterian).  There are a lot of reasons why and a lot of conversations and moments and thoughts that have influenced the decision, but there are essentially two main things going on.

First,I'm doing it for health reasons.  While I realize it's not unhealthy to eat meat (never mind what all the crazies say), I personally feel better when my diet consists of primarily plant-based food sources.  Additionally, I'm becoming more and more aware of the dangers of eating processed foods, primarily because of the added sugars that go into all kinds of foods (according to National Geographic's August 2013 issue, about 1.77 tsp of sugar per 3 tbsp of ketchup, for instance), and I'd like to cut as much of that as possible out of my diet.

Second, I'm doing it for sustainability reasons.  Meat-based diets require more land, water, and fossil fuel resources than lacto-ovo-vegetarian diets, and it's something that I find I can't do anymore.  I've been striving to be more "green" in my everyday life already (from turning off lights to putting a water bottle in the toilet tank to seeking out local sources for milk, eggs, and cheese), and cutting out meat consumption is just another logical step in that process.  It might be a small impact, but so are most of the things I've done.  Consider it a starfish thing.

So here's the deal, friends.  My goal is to be meatless by August 25 (the day before school starts) and, like any long-term friend, I feel like I need to make a few good memories with meat before we go our separate ways.  Which means, naturally, getting all my favorite meat-based meals one last time.  If you're interested, I'd love some company.  Just let me know which restaurant seems appealing (by blog comment, fb message, text, etc.) and we'll go!

• Red Lobster - because lobster, duh
• Texas Roadhouse - goodbye steak
• The Portneuf Brewery - Canadian Dreaming pizza, I will miss you
• Pizza Hut - one last Meat Lovers
• Goody's - Western pizza bombs, you will be missed
• 5 Guys - because burgers, duh
• Jimmy John's - the Italian Nightlife is where it's at
• Sumisu's or Blue Hashi - unagi, you have been good to me
• your place, if you have a grill - because I make better pork chops than a restaurant

I'll cross these off the list as people volunteer to by my dining companion or as I go by myself.  You don't have to eat what I'm having (obviously), and you don't have to agree with my choice, but I'd love the support!

Things You Should Never, Ever Do

***This post is meant to be both silly and serious.  I will probably offend several of you.  I'm in the kind of mood where I don't really care if you choose to be offended, take things out of context, etc.  You're probably an adult (legally, if not emotionally), so act like it, mmkay?***

1.  Do not feel good about yourself just because you're buying organic food.
Let me say right off the bat that some organic food is awesome.  I swear that the organic tomatoes at Fred Meyer are the best in Pocatello.  I think farm-raised chicken eggs taste better and I'll buy them (or steal them from my parents' fridge) whenever I can.  I swear my allergies have gotten better since I started eating raw honey from a local bee farm.  It's an accepted "fact" that most stuff grown in your own garden and eaten as soon as you've picked it is healthier than buying it at the grocery store fresh, and definitely better than frozen or canned (though in some cases it's apparently better to cook certain veggies... admittedly I haven't done any kind of cursory research there).

HOWEVER.  Just because it says "organic" on the label doesn't mean you should trust it.  Same goes for "made with real juice" (check the content list on the back), "green" products, and a host of other claims.  From what I understand, the FDA's requirements on companies being able to use those kinds of claims are pretty lax or convoluted, so unless you know where your food is coming from (like, seen the farm, garden, orchard, etc.) and feel like you can trust the farmer/rancher selling you the stuff, don't pat yourself on the back for feeding you or your family better just because your carrots are uglier.

HOWEVER.  Ways you can pat yourself on the back?  Making your food from raw ingredients when you can afford to.  Skipping frozen dinners, sweet snacks, high fructose corn syrup in all it's forms, and fast food.  Balancing your food intake so that you're getting a nice variety of foods (the USDA's Food Pyramid might not be 100% perfect according to the most recent study you've read, but it's a lot healthier than an All Carbs All the Time diet).  Controlling portion sizes and caloric intake.  Those are going to make a bigger impact on your health than buying something labeled "organic."


2.  Do not open this inside your house.

Yes, that's a picture of 9,000 lady buys in a jar.  Good for your garden.  Bad for your house.


3.  Do not get stupid tattoos.
So I get that it's your body and you can do what you want with it.  And I get that this includes getting dumb tattoos.  BUT, stupid tattoos are stupid.

So what do I think constitutes a stupid tattoo?  I mean, sometimes you just know it when you see it.  It might be the concept, sometimes the placement, often the execution.  Sometimes you just look like a dumb tramp.  Sometimes your "artistic" tattoo just looks freakish.  Sometimes your tattoo is a bit too current pop culture.  Sometimes your tattoo is spelled incorrectly.  Sometimes what you thought would look cool just ends up looking like an infectious disease.  Sometimes it's clear from your tattoo that you lost a bet.  Sometimes your tattoo just says that you'd rather not contribute to society ever again.

Not all tattoos are dumb.  This one is pretty cool.  This one belongs to a friend of mine.  This guy is freaking awesome, and I'm half tempted to get this one.  I mean, I guess the thing that gets me is that this stuff is basically permanent (blah, blah, blah laser treatments, I know), and why would you want some of it on your body forever?  How do some of these "canvases" expect to be taken seriously?  Like this guy:

Oh, wait.  Apparently there's Dermablend for that now.

Well then, mark up your body however you want.  Carry on.

4.  Do not assume your friends have your quirky sensibilities when you make, buy, or give them stuff.

Personally, I find the idea of making one of these for all my girlfriends insanely hilarious: 

It's a purse shaped like a uterus and ovaries.  Get it?  

Says the creator of this lovely crochet pattern: "Perfect for storing feminine hygiene products while on the go (Tampax Pearl Shown), or as a gag gift for new or expecting mothers!"  I'm not sure how it's perfect for new/expecting mothers (condoms, maybe?), but I sure as hell know that none of my friends would find this as adorably woman-positive as I did.  I imagine our taste differences don't end here.

5.  Do not press.

6.  Do not dress up to fly.

Or travel at all unless you're commuting to work/school.  Seriously.  There is no point.

Every.  Damn.  Time.


7.  Do not judge an entire breed of dogs just because a few of them have been beaten and starved into being vicious.

Also, do not let me ever catch you abusing your dog.  I will end you.


8.  Do not show up at my house and knock on my door without first calling and telling me you're coming.

Seriously, that is one of the rudest things.  Ever.  I'm a large-chested gal, and I like to run around without my bra on because it's much more comfortable.  However, I don't like to answer my door without it on.  It's much too personal, and we don't have that kind of relationship.  Or what if I'm in the bathroom?  Or avoiding you?  If I'm interested in entertaining you, I'll answer my phone and prepare to receive guests.  If I don't pick up, there's usually a reason why.  Call first (or text, or fb, or send me an email... I'm flexible).


9.  Do not body shame. 

Yes, there is an ideal weight range that the majority of healthy people fall within.  Yes, there are examples where people outside of this ideal weight range should be working with their doctors to lose or gain weight in order to put their bodies in a healthy place along a variety of indicators.  No, neither you nor I have any right to comment on someone's BMI like we've read all the details of her or his medical chart.

Everyone deserves positive feedback.  Maybe you find someone's physical features unattractive; compliment their shoes or the color of their shirt.  TELL PEOPLE when they look good (or when you notice that they've put some effort into their look - everyone likes to know they've been noticed).  Compliments don't cost you anything.  Give them away as freely as you possibly can.  The more you do it, the easier and more natural it gets.  Make someone's day a little brighter and give them a sincere compliment.

10 People

I'm having a rough time in my head tonight.  Lots of confusion.  Lots of school-related reading.  Lots of heartbreak.  Lots of icky.  Most of it at a handful of specific people.  So, cowardly as it might seem to be, I'm doing a writing exercise taken from the days of myspace where I anonymously write messages to 10 people without posting their names or any specific details.  For my sake and/or for theirs.  If they read and guess who they are, that's ok.  I probably should say some of this to their faces anyway.  Hopefully it will help.

1. I think you're a great person.  I really do.  I wish you could see that about yourself.  I wish you would stop holding yourself to their standards, stop taking on their crap, and stop making your life harder than it needs to be.  I realize I sound like a hypocrite, but I'm saying it anyway because I love you.
I told you that I'm your friend because I know how much I messed up and therefore don't have hopes that you'll ever trust me enough.  You directed me to a picture of your favorite quote: "Forgiveness means not letting the past dictate the future."  I know from experience that to assume you meant anything more than to show me a personal life philosophy would be silly of me, even dangerous, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that what you meant is more nights like Monday.  

I love you.  I thought I loved you before, because I kept superimposing on you the emotions I had for someone you reminded me of, but once I stripped away all of that and took a look at raw YOU-ness, I realized I love who you are.  Your quirks and oddities.  The way you stop speaking to me when you're upset.  How much you want to explore me without giving very much of yourself in return (except that then sometimes you do, totally at random).  How insecure you are when think no one is looking.  The plant on your windowsill that seems so out of place.  That you never kick me out of your bed, and let me stay at your place after you've gone.  The thousand different ways you make me feel.
I love you.  I wish we wanted the same thing: to be together.  Not in any kind of "this is my boyfriend and we're monogamous" way, but in the way that I stay over most nights and sometime I do homework while you play Rockband or we read lines to each other or whatever and if I go to bed early you sneak in and try to not wake me up.  And some nights you wake me up at 2:30 because you can't stand to keep your hands to yourself anymore or I wake you up at who-knows-what-time because I'm not crying as quietly as I thought.  And if you have someone else you want to see that night or if I kiss someone else that's ok, because we are so comfortable in our own us-ness that things like that don't matter.  I'll always keep my own place, but I want a drawer at yours too.  And lets not brag it around to everyone because they don't all need to know.  Will you teach me to play guitar?

2.  I don't know what to say to you.  I love what we had, but I feel like I'm supposed to feel like it's time to change that.  We have to become adults sometimes, and while you might be ok with what's happening in your head, the fact that there are so many lies and sneaking about all the time means you also know that it's not really ok at all.  But I'm not the one who has anything to be honest about, so I don't really feel all that guilty.  And anyway, I love you.  I want to be the woman you marry when we're in our 40s and ready to settle down for reals this time.  It takes my breath away when I kiss you.  It always has.  Can you tell?

3.  I would if I could and if you would.  But you never will.  And I don't want to upset the very delicate balance of things.  I feel like Worf must have in the final season of TNG if you're Deanna and there are two Will Rikers (except slightly less hairy).  But if you ever wanted to, I have a holodeck program that has a sandy beach and a full moon and it absolutely romantic.  Just saying.

4.  I miss you.  Every day.  And then you didn't respond.  And now it's worse.  Why can't I come home?

5.  I wish you would stop talking to me.  I'm afraid if I tell you how I feel you'll go into another tailspin, and I DON'T want to be responsible for that, but you can't seriously believe that there's anything for you to try to befriend again after the shit you pulled the last time.  I don't want your drama that you bring upon yourself.  I don't want to deal with the demands of "being allowed" to be your friend.  I don't feel guilty for never wanting to see you again.  And I'd tell you all this if you were more emotionally stable.  In the meantime, I need for you to just stop, ok?  Find someone else to use; I'm not interested.

6.  I'd love to get to know you.  The distance thing puts a damper on it, and I get the feeling you're not an avid texter or else I'd keep things up that way.  You've got a decent shot, most likely, not least because someone I trust vouched for you in both an inebriated AND a sober state.  And besides, you have one of the awesomest hobbies ever (yes, I know that it should say "most awesome" but I'm ignoring the rules of grammar because of how awesome it is).

7.  I can't.  I thought I could, but I can't.  I won't change myself that much, and I won't go without what I need in hopes that you're going to eventually change.  You shouldn't change.  You should be you.  Someone will someday be introduced into your life with similar goals and relational needs.  But I am not that girl.  I am, in fact, a very different girl from that girl.  And it's not a matter of you not being a good guy, though you very well might not understand that when I tell you all of this.  I think you're an excellent guy, or we wouldn't have gotten this far.  I simply need different things than you can give me (not more, not better, just different), and I think you need different things that I can give you.  So before anyone gets more hurt than they're already going to, I think we should just call it quits.  It's better this way, I promise.

8.  Fuck.  You.  And not in a pleasant, orgasmic kind of way.  More in the "I hope you get hit by a bus and then burst into flames" kind of way.

9.  I hope you're doing alright.  I like my life better without you in it, but I still want good things for you.  I hope you end up getting what you wanted (except, of course, for the "being with Jocelyn" part).

10.  I wonder if you knew as a kid how much the things you said would impact me.  it's been 15 years, but I can still hear the things you said and I still look into the mirror sometimes with the same kinds of critical, mocking looks you used to give me in class and on the playground.  I wonder if you would be interested to know that, had I had better self esteem, I might have been accepted by the other kids, played harder, and not let the weight get out of hand.  I might not be this sick now.  I might have spent adolescence loving myself, not hiding in my weight, and it might not have become a friendly ally in my quest to hide my tears.  I might have been able to shed it early on, stayed on top of being healthy, and never felt like a diet would kill my only constant companion.

I wonder if you care as an adult, or if the loathing you developed in 3rd grade and carried through to graduation shields you from feeling guilty.  Did you think then that I deserved it?  Do you still?  Do you even remember why you started mocking me, why you were the ring-leader in destroying the inherent joy and trust of a little girl?  Why you took one of God's precious daughters and broke her spirit, made her feel ugly, left her jaded and destroyed even still?  How much of what you did then played a part in me clinging to a poisonous relationship even after it degenerated into nothing more than mental and sexual abuse?  

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not blaming you for the way my life has gone so far.  I don't think it was only your playground taunts that have impacted my life.  In fact, I rarely think about you in all honesty.  But sometimes, when I least expect it, those ugly words come back and my inner child cringes, and it's all I can do to not look you up and demand an apology or at least an explanation.  But then I remind myself that you are (or anyway, you were) a Mormon boy and 10 is older than 8.  What that means for you, if you thought about it for a few minutes, is that you're going to be accountable for all of it some day.  Every action has a price.

There you have it.  I am anticipating a few texts now of "was I number X?" or "was number X person 1 or person 2?"  I'll answer honestly your very first guess, if you so choose to ask.  Because I'm a good sport like that.

Man, I suck at this blogging thing sometimes...

I haven't blogged in a while, and what do I chose to do?  Oh, that's right, I post one of these things that I used to do in junior high.  Sorry guys.

Taken from a friend on Facebook, lol.

***********FOODOLOGY***************

1. What is your salad dressing of choice? blue cheese

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? depends on what I'm in the mood for: Texas Roadhouse, Olive Garden, or IHOP

3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? those huge chocolate muffins.  of course, at the end of two weeks, my butt will be HUGE.

4. What are your pizza toppings of choice? olives, sausage, extra cheese

5. What do you like to put on your toast? butter, sometimes cinnamon and sugar

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

1. How many televisions are in your house? 1

2. The color of your cell phone?  charcoal

3. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has? lots!

***************BIOLOGY******************

1. Are you right-handed or left-handed? right

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? warts

3. What is the last heavy item you lifted? laundry basket.  I need to do laundry more often.

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? not with a blow to the head or something, but I did get CO2 poisoning once, and that made me pass out

************BULLPOOPOLOGY**************

1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? no

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I love my name, so I would never change it!  but if I HAD to change it, I'd pick something classic, like Katherine  or Mary or Elizabeth.

3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? how big is the bottle?

************DUMBOLOGY******************

1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 1 that I regularly wear

2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? a month ago I got pulled over for a missing tail light

3. Last person you talked to? my dad called this morning

4. Last person you hugged? Jim 

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

1. Season? summer

2. Holiday? Halloween

3. Day of the week? Friday

4. Month? May?

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

1. Missing someone? yes

2. Mood? tired, stressed

3. What are you listening to? it's a Saturday morning, so cartoons of course!

4. Watching? see above

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

1. First place you went this morning? my basement

2. What's the last movie you saw?  I Am Number Four

3. Do you smile often? some days

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

1. Do you always answer your phone? far from it.  I screen calls.

2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message? this is not a question.  I don't know how to answer it.

3. If you could change your eye color what would it be? I love my hazel eyes.  but I'd want them either really intensely gray, or deep green.

4. Do you own a digital camera? yes.  and I'm terrible at remembering to take pictures on it.

5. Have you ever had a pet fish? have one right now, actually.

6. Favorite Christmas song(s)? "Present Face" by Garfunkel and Oats

7. What's on your wish list for your birthday? kitchenaid (I won't get it)

9. Can you do a chin up? not a chance

10. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? terrified

11. Do you have any saved texts? not anymore

12. Ever been in a car wreck? several

13. Do you have an accent? kind of.  I slur my words now a lot more than I did before England.

14. What is the last song that made you cry? I honestly don't remember

15. Plans tonight? LAVA!!!

16. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yeah.  spent a good deal of time there, actually

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? yogurt pretzels, licorice, and chocolate muffins

18. Have you ever been given roses? yes

19. Current worry? having to face adult responsibilities (like taking care of my parents) with no one to share that burden with.

20. I'll make another one up xD-favorite smiley? just the standard :)

21. Met someone who changed your life? everyone you meet can change your life, and most do

22. How will you bring in the New Year? that's a really good question, actually

23. What song represents you? "I'm a Little Teapot"?

24. Name three people who might complete this?  I don't even think people read my blog.  so possibly no one.  and, if so, I'd never really know about it.

25. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes.  and I'd do my best to change it.

27. Do you have any tattoos/piercings? ears

28. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now? maybe?

29. Does anyone love you? yep!

30. Ever had someone sing to you? most recently last Sunday

31. When did you last cry? a few days ago

32. Do you like to cuddle? YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES

33. Have you held hands with anyone today? I haven't seen anyone yet

34. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? country

35. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? new

36. Do you like pulpy orange juice? on very rare occasions, but usually not

37. Do you believe angels walk among us? sure

Staying Young At Heart

So as I was eating breakfast today, it occurred to me that perhaps I should think about growing up.

As it turns out, I don't really qualify as an adult, and since I'm going to end up teaching high school I should probably attempt to be an adult as some point in my life.

Or not.

I rather enjoy being a little bit childlike (note: different from being immature) and I think that it makes up for all of the boring stuff that we have to do as adults.  I don't know that I need to join the Lost Boys in Neverneverland, but that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy the whims that make childhood so much fun.

But how does one stay young?  How do I avoid giving up my childlike joy of living?  I've come up with a few ideas to keep me from turning into a cranky old lady some day.

The Anti-Cranky Old Lady List

1.  Never eat "adult" cereal.
Sure, Kashi might be healthier for you, but it tastes like rainbows dying.  It is to be avoided at all costs.  Similarly, any other cereal without a cartoon character on the box is to be avoided.

2.  Splash through puddles.
Dry pants are for cranky old ladies (well, unless they're incontinent, but that's not what I mean).  Practicality must sometimes be ignored for the sake of really excellent puddle jumping.




3.  Lay on your back and stare up for a while.
At the ceiling.  At a tree.  At the clouds.  At the stars.  At the inside of your prison chamber (kidding!).  Look up, really look, and let your imagination run wild.  Or, at the very least, just slow down enough to pay attention to the world.

4.  Play with puppies or kitties.

No, this does not say "torment small fluffy animals with laser pointers."  That doesn't count.  Grab some string or a stuffed animal or even just tickle with your hand.  And when they get tired and lay down for a nap in the middle of it, cuddle up with them.

5.  Remember to tell your loved ones  how much they mean to you.

I'm talking about doing this in a way that's absolutely silly.  Come up with silly, affectionate nicknames.  Give them cards with googley-eyed cartoon characters.  Write them text messages with horrible spelling.  However you do it, make sure they know that you love them.

6.  Do kid-friendly crafts.

When was the last time you colored a page from a coloring book?  Or made a homemade Valentine's Day card?  Or made a mud pie?  I think we get so caught up being "sophisticated" with our creativity that we forget to have FUN with our craftiness.  Forget that.  Have fun just creating, and forget about trying to impress anyone because you used mauve- and beige-colored paint or your sculpture looks almost lifelike.

7.  Never forget that you are a pretty pretty princess (or prince).
Seriously.  You are amazing.  You have a whole kingdom that adores you and you deserved that adoration.  The only reason to ever stop pretending, at least in the back of your mind, that you're royalty is because you've grown up.  Being a princess doesn't mean being a spoiled brat, it just means loving yourself enough to demand the respect you actually deserve.

8.  Stay home sick sometimes.

There's such a push as we grow older to ignore our bodies when they feel ill and just go to work and tough it out.  But taking a break because you need to physically (or mentally!) rest in order to feel better is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself.  This is not an excuse to be lazy and stop functioning every time you get a mild headache, but rather permission to stop overworking yourself and making the situation both longer and more uncomfortable.

9.  Dress how you want.  They'll love you for it.
So yes, there are some occasions that require a dress code (work, weddings, church, etc.), but dressing like a "sensible adult" all the time is just icky.  It has the potential to make us forget who we are or were or want to be, and it's a type of conforming that can be quite damaging.  So express yourself through a few awesome pieces, from that offbeat piece of jewelry to those wicked yellow snakeskin leggings.  Wear it with confidence, and how the fashion police and "sensible adults" who's really in charge.

10.  Ask questions.

How did we learn so much so fast as kids?  We asked.  We were curious, and we found out the answers.  While it might be a little less acceptable to be downright rude or annoying with questions as adults, do it anyway sometimes.  You might be surprised at how willing (and grateful) someone is to talk to you.  Teach yourself to be ok with sounding stupid.  Become friends with Google and Wikipedia.  Keep learning, and your mind will keep growing.

11.  Go on, throw a tantrum.
Being occasionally angry is ok.  Studies have been done that confirm that holding all those emotions inside isn't healthy and leads to all sort of awful medical problems.  Don't go around being a crazy pessimistic DRAMA QUEEN all of the time, but go ahead and let it all out every now and then.

12.  Admit that you're afraid of the monster under your bed sometimes.

We all have things we're afraid of.  But pretending they don't exist doesn't help us get through that.  Sometimes, telling someone what we're afraid of allows us to open up and examine the fear for what it really is.  Sometimes, it helps us find answers.  And sometimes, it just allows someone else to tell us it will be ok and get a hug.

13.  Swing on the swings.

Remember how you used to feel pumping your legs and getting as high as you could?  'Nuff said.

14.  Hold someone's had when you cross the street.
Big decisions can sometimes be scary.  It's ok to ask someone to be there for you when you make them.  Support from loved ones can be hard to ask for, but it's totally worth it, and most of the time they can't wait to help you.  You'd do it for them, and they love you just as much.

15.  Giggle, shout, sing in public, dance in the rain, make snow angels, cry, ENJOY LIVING.

It's not always about being in charge of our emotions in a socially acceptable way.  Sometimes, a big loud belly laugh is just what the doctor ordered.  Making snow angels is spontaneous and feels good.  Crying with abandon can be more effective than years of sullen therapy.  ENJOY IT.  Let yourself.  It's ok.

Young At Heart!!