1. Do not feel good about yourself just because you're buying organic food.
Let me say right off the bat that some organic food is awesome. I swear that the organic tomatoes at Fred Meyer are the best in Pocatello. I think farm-raised chicken eggs taste better and I'll buy them (or steal them from my parents' fridge) whenever I can. I swear my allergies have gotten better since I started eating raw honey from a local bee farm. It's an accepted "fact" that most stuff grown in your own garden and eaten as soon as you've picked it is healthier than buying it at the grocery store fresh, and definitely better than frozen or canned (though in some cases it's apparently better to cook certain veggies... admittedly I haven't done any kind of cursory research there).
HOWEVER. Just because it says "organic" on the label doesn't mean you should trust it. Same goes for "made with real juice" (check the content list on the back), "green" products, and a host of other claims. From what I understand, the FDA's requirements on companies being able to use those kinds of claims are pretty lax or convoluted, so unless you know where your food is coming from (like, seen the farm, garden, orchard, etc.) and feel like you can trust the farmer/rancher selling you the stuff, don't pat yourself on the back for feeding you or your family better just because your carrots are uglier.
HOWEVER. Ways you can pat yourself on the back? Making your food from raw ingredients when you can afford to. Skipping frozen dinners, sweet snacks, high fructose corn syrup in all it's forms, and fast food. Balancing your food intake so that you're getting a nice variety of foods (the USDA's Food Pyramid might not be 100% perfect according to the most recent study you've read, but it's a lot healthier than an All Carbs All the Time diet). Controlling portion sizes and caloric intake. Those are going to make a bigger impact on your health than buying something labeled "organic."
2. Do not open this inside your house.
3. Do not get stupid tattoos.
So I get that it's your body and you can do what you want with it. And I get that this includes getting dumb tattoos. BUT, stupid tattoos are stupid.
So what do I think constitutes a stupid tattoo? I mean, sometimes you just know it when you see it. It might be the concept, sometimes the placement, often the execution. Sometimes you just look like a dumb tramp. Sometimes your "artistic" tattoo just looks freakish. Sometimes your tattoo is a bit too current pop culture. Sometimes your tattoo is spelled incorrectly. Sometimes what you thought would look cool just ends up looking like an infectious disease. Sometimes it's clear from your tattoo that you lost a bet. Sometimes your tattoo just says that you'd rather not contribute to society ever again.
Oh, wait. Apparently there's Dermablend for that now.
Well then, mark up your body however you want. Carry on.
4. Do not assume your friends have your quirky sensibilities when you make, buy, or give them stuff.
Personally, I find the idea of making one of these for all my girlfriends insanely hilarious:
It's a purse shaped like a uterus and ovaries. Get it?
Says the creator of this lovely crochet pattern: "Perfect for storing feminine hygiene products while on the go (Tampax Pearl Shown), or as a gag gift for new or expecting mothers!" I'm not sure how it's perfect for new/expecting mothers (condoms, maybe?), but I sure as hell know that none of my friends would find this as adorably woman-positive as I did. I imagine our taste differences don't end here.
5. Do not press.
6. Do not dress up to fly.
Or travel at all unless you're commuting to work/school. Seriously. There is no point.
Every. Damn. Time.
7. Do not judge an entire breed of dogs just because a few of them have been beaten and starved into being vicious.
Also, do not let me ever catch you abusing your dog. I will end you.
8. Do not show up at my house and knock on my door without first calling and telling me you're coming.
Seriously, that is one of the rudest things. Ever. I'm a large-chested gal, and I like to run around without my bra on because it's much more comfortable. However, I don't like to answer my door without it on. It's much too personal, and we don't have that kind of relationship. Or what if I'm in the bathroom? Or avoiding you? If I'm interested in entertaining you, I'll answer my phone and prepare to receive guests. If I don't pick up, there's usually a reason why. Call first (or text, or fb, or send me an email... I'm flexible).
9. Do not body shame.
Yes, there is an ideal weight range that the majority of healthy people fall within. Yes, there are examples where people outside of this ideal weight range should be working with their doctors to lose or gain weight in order to put their bodies in a healthy place along a variety of indicators. No, neither you nor I have any right to comment on someone's BMI like we've read all the details of her or his medical chart.
Everyone deserves positive feedback. Maybe you find someone's physical features unattractive; compliment their shoes or the color of their shirt. TELL PEOPLE when they look good (or when you notice that they've put some effort into their look - everyone likes to know they've been noticed). Compliments don't cost you anything. Give them away as freely as you possibly can. The more you do it, the easier and more natural it gets. Make someone's day a little brighter and give them a sincere compliment.
Or travel at all unless you're commuting to work/school. Seriously. There is no point.
Every. Damn. Time.
7. Do not judge an entire breed of dogs just because a few of them have been beaten and starved into being vicious.
Also, do not let me ever catch you abusing your dog. I will end you.
8. Do not show up at my house and knock on my door without first calling and telling me you're coming.
Seriously, that is one of the rudest things. Ever. I'm a large-chested gal, and I like to run around without my bra on because it's much more comfortable. However, I don't like to answer my door without it on. It's much too personal, and we don't have that kind of relationship. Or what if I'm in the bathroom? Or avoiding you? If I'm interested in entertaining you, I'll answer my phone and prepare to receive guests. If I don't pick up, there's usually a reason why. Call first (or text, or fb, or send me an email... I'm flexible).
9. Do not body shame.
Yes, there is an ideal weight range that the majority of healthy people fall within. Yes, there are examples where people outside of this ideal weight range should be working with their doctors to lose or gain weight in order to put their bodies in a healthy place along a variety of indicators. No, neither you nor I have any right to comment on someone's BMI like we've read all the details of her or his medical chart.
Everyone deserves positive feedback. Maybe you find someone's physical features unattractive; compliment their shoes or the color of their shirt. TELL PEOPLE when they look good (or when you notice that they've put some effort into their look - everyone likes to know they've been noticed). Compliments don't cost you anything. Give them away as freely as you possibly can. The more you do it, the easier and more natural it gets. Make someone's day a little brighter and give them a sincere compliment.
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